PARENT -
Job Description This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!! POSITION : Mom, Mommy, Mama, MaDad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, PopJOB
DESCRIPTION :Long term, team players needed , for challenging permanent work in
an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will
include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some
overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy
weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not
reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The restof your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone
needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the
physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three
seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone
just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such
as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must
screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple
homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for
clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one
minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety
testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final,
complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities
also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :None. Your job is to remain in the same
position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your
skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you PREVIOUS
EXPERIENCE :None required unfortunately.On-the-job training offered on a
continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them!Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18because of the assumption that college will help them become financially
independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing
about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you
could only do more. BENEFITS :While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional
love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right. Forward
this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a
daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous job they
do. .or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job. **
AND A FOOTNOTE "THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!
Sai Madhukar.BBM/96...
madhukar_rathi@yahoo.com
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